Download De-Esculation Poster to print
A) Opening lines (to lower the temperature)
- “I’m here. You’re safe.”
- “We’re going to slow this down.”
- “I can see you’re upset.”
- “I’m listening.”
- “Take a breath. We can handle this.”
B) When a student argues / challenges
- “I’m not arguing. I’m here to help.”
- “I hear you. The answer is still no.”
- “We can problem-solve. We’re not debating.”
- “I’ll talk when voices are calm.”
- “Say it again in a school voice.”
C) When a student refuses work
- “You don’t have to like it. You do have to choose.”
- “Here are your choices: A or B.”
- “Do you want me to get you started, or do you want two minutes first?”
- “Start with one question. Then we’ll reassess.”
- “I’ll stay close if you want support.”
D) When a student is escalated (keep it short)
- “I’m going to give you space.”
- “We’re focusing on calm and safe right now.”
- “We’ll talk about what happened later.”
- “I’m stepping back so this doesn’t escalate.”
- “I’m going to get support so we handle this safely.”
E) When safety is the concern
- “I can’t let you do that.”
- “Stop. Take a step back.”
- “Hands down. We’re keeping everyone safe.”
- “I’m moving people back for safety.”
- “We’re going to reset before we continue.”
F) Boundary + care (warm + firm)
- “I care about you, and I’m still holding the line.”
- “You’re not in trouble for having feelings. You are responsible for your behavior.”
- “I’m on your side. I’m not changing the expectation.”
- “I’m staying consistent because you matter.”
- “We can fix this. We’re not doing it like this.”
G) Re-entry (after a break—no lecture)
- “Welcome back.”
- “You’re good. Let’s restart.”
- “Do you want to jump in quietly or get a quick recap first?”
- “Grab what you need. We’ll talk later.”
- “Thanks for coming back. That matters.”
H) Quick repair script (private, 2 minutes)
- “That got hard.”
- “I care about you and I’m staying consistent.”
- “What was going on for you?”
- “What do you need next time?”
- “What’s our plan if it starts building again?”
